Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
