She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
