So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it glows. i had to have it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
