Barsexuality is the new black.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
