Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
