Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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