I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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