ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize