If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
