Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
