I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
