I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
