Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
