people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
