we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
