I bet he comes in French.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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