I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
