The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
