sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Holy shit dude........stairs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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