She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
