She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize