So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
