Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
