this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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