My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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