She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
