What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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