I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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