But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
