Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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