After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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