the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
