I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize