isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
