its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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