my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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