he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
