No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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