and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
