Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
