Three words: puerto rican gang bang
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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