think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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