I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
