I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
