It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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