um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
