When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
