I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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