something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're a waste of cheezeits
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
