he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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