you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
