found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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