I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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