did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
