I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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