that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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