im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
