what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
handjob tips. give me some.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
did i walk over a car last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
