please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
