Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
