Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
