just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I have post one night stand depression
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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